The diary of a madman

[jeremiah daniel cournes]

[jeremiah daniel cournes]

So. This is what writing in a diary feels like? Feels like I'm writing a letter. Boring, and pointless. I could just email the person I want to tell. But I don't want anyone to know what I have to say.

But really what do I have to say? I don't really know of any secrets I want to get off of my chest. Maybe I am just being to optimistic? No. I am not that much of an optimistic person. I could careless if the world was ending, and I like the thought of meeting Gabe Saporta at his party. Ah, Guilty Pleasure quotes. It is always fun to quote songs. Shows how much of a musical nerd I am, doesn't it?

OK, so I guess I'll start with the basics. Though that Intro Page the thing made me fill out should pretty much sum it up. And what is it for anyways? I mean, shouldn't I know what my favorite stuff is? Does it matter if I write it down? Or is it simply for if someone gets into this book. Then I will definitely be screwed. Tortured forever for liking Bambi and Titanic. So sew me if I like crying. NO! I DID NOT JUST ADMIT TO CRYING!..that was my evil twin obviously. But wait, if I am complaining about intro posts, why am I trying to cover up what I.. I mean my evil twin, just admited? Or.. lied. Oh fuck it. I don't understand anymore either.

So, I'm Jeremiah. Some call me Corn because my last name is pronounced "Corns", and a few of the boys at my old school called me Cornflake; isinuating that I was gay. It was a cruel joke; but when my friends started calling me that it didn't really bother me anymore. I don't think I'm gay.. I don't think I'm Bi.. OK. So that is a lie. Want complete honesty here? I am Bi. I'm convinced I am. Why else would I like guys? I don't blame anyone for it, I don't see how it is a bad thing. But I can't be Bi. If I was, my dad would leave all over again. And I don't want that to happen.

I first found out when I was attracted to my friend, Taylor. We almost had something; but then my dad started calling me again and I couldn't risk loosing him all over again. So I told Taylor I couldn't do that and we haven't talked since. So, yeah. I don't like hiding my self, my true self from my dad. But what choice do I have? My dad thinks I'm going to Darmon for the Athletic program, when really I'm a model.

Well, looks like school isn't going to do it self. I'll write later, I promise. God. Here I said I wasn't going to write anything important.

Later, Gator.
~ JDC

[jeremiah daniel cournes]

Dear Diary, Dear Journal,

You know what? Screw it. I'm sticking with Hey You.

Hey you! Life is doing pretty well. My dad has been texting me a little more then he had been. Just the other day he sent me some money to go shopping for clothing, being I kind of lied to him and said I didn't sew my own anymore. I know, the best thing is suppose to be telling the truth; but in some moments the truth is overrated. I tell the truth to everyone but my dad. My mom found out that my dad doesn't know what department I am in in Darmon, but she promised that she wouldn't bring it up. She also said she wouldn't lie about it though..so I am hoping he doesn't suddenly feel curious and ask.

Anyways. I met some new people. This fifth year student named Jess at Starbucks. She was cool, we kinda liked the same music. And then there was this girl named Rose, who was really cool. I become really good first with her. I think it is kinda like a best friends kinda thing. But at the same time it is funny, because we are rivals "on the runway" as my mom said. Yeah, I told my mom about my friends. But she asked and I've done enough lying to my parents (and probably more to come), I think my mom deserves to know about my friends. Anyways, we are both first year models; so we compete in class and what not. She is really cute though, and it is safe to say I have a crush on her. We flirt sometimes, but in all honesty; I'm not sure it'll go past that. We're just too good of friends. There is Riley; who is awesome. We're pretty close friends. He is covered in tattoos. He is awesome; I met him at a party. He is like an older brother I've never had. Uh..there are more, hold on let me think.

Oh duh! How could I forget. I'm friends with this girl named Pheonix. She is freakin' awesome. We are pretty close too, and she is like the perfect person to go partying with. I'm going to have to see if she is going to any interesting parties this weekend. Because believe me or not, I'm completely planless! There is another crush, dude I'm fifteen and a guy, duh! Anyways, her name is Violet. And though this is probably getting old, we're pretty close. I trust this girl. Not with my deepest secret of course, but with other things. We both flirt back and forth; but again, that is probably the only thing we're going to be. She's really cool though.

Now; if you haven't caught on by now, I'm trying my best not to crush on a guy. But that hasn't been very succesful. I met this guy named Scott in lunch, and he was really cool. He was sarcastic; which was awesome. Not to mention he wasn't a jerk. And I am crushing on him; but I think were pretty good friends. I don't know. I just know that I have to keep this from a lot of people..actually everyone. And no, there is no way in hell I am going to refer to you as a person. Damn, I just did didn't I? Oh well, I wont do it again. I know your just a book...wait, that makes the second time, doesn't it? Why am I asking you! OK. This is going to far.

I'm out.
~ JCD